Tuesday, May 12, 2015

What Happens In Vegas ~or~ Like A Lamb To The Slaughter

Mariah has begun her 2 year/50 date residency in Vegas.  She has released her "#1 To Infinity" CD to coincide with the event.  Can we just take a minute to look at the artwork vs. a snap from the first show:
On the left, the album cover, on the right, Vegas.
Ummm...Okay... kinda revives THIS parody.  Anyway, I have posted this review in its entirety... THESE ARE NOT MY WORDS (but I a little bit wish they were).

THE EVISCERATION OF MIMI: New York Times Review Tears Mariah Carey’s New Vegas Show to Shreds 

 “You watch the crash because you want to see how it will end.”

It’s been a rough week for Mariah Carey. One day after opening her new mega-show this past Wednesday at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, The New York Times published a review, and let’s just say… it wasn’t pretty:

“Her once-transcendent voice is like decaying manufacturing machinery: It still churns, but the product might be polished or dinged.”

The production, “#1 to Infinity”, takes its name from the concert lineup, a collection of her staggering 18 #1 Billboard hits plus a new original number…

“There’s a new song, too, called “Infinity” – it won’t be No. 19.”

Regardless of your opinion of Mariah’s music, the icy review by writer Jon Caramanica is certainly worth a read, merciless enough to induce winces in fans and jaw-drops in, uh, just about anybody else.
“Whether the decision to undertake this project was born of necessity, hubris or obliviousness, it has put Ms. Carey in a precarious position – she is in decline and trapped in a cage of her own making.”
Most painfully, much of the criticism of “Ms. Carey” focuses on the state of her famously huge vocal range, which most critics agree is the talent that originally set the performer apart from her peers:

“When it came to the notes, though, the struggle was real.“
 Despite the sting she may feel after critiques like this, Mimi’s in it for the long haul. Wednesday’s concert marked the opening of a 50-show scheduled to run over a 2-year residency.

“Maybe the new performance spectacle could resurrect the old vocal spectacle.”

We hope, for the sake of concert-goers, that this will be the case.

That's pretty rough...

Monday, May 11, 2015

The Lisp Review: It's The Wurst

Actually, to be fair, I haven't even listened to it.  Do I need to?  I think not.  So really, this is more of a read than a review.

In fact, I've never even heard a full Conchita Wurst song...I saw her on some show, perhaps Chatty Man, and after about thirty seconds, I knew everything I needed to know. 

Celine Dion washed an egg with Clay Aiken's baby-batter, incubated it under Elton John's toupé and gave birth in some Palm Springs piano bar.

And I mean...just look at some of the tracklist...you JUST know what you're getting:

You Are Unstoppable
Up for Air
Colours of Your Love
Out of Body Experience
Where Have All the Good Men Gone
Rise Like a Phoenix
Other Side of Me


Speaking of "yikes:"

 Bret (Poison) Michaels has released a country album, True Grit.

It's full of rah-rah-America vs Rowdy Cowboy tracks (again, haven't actually listened to it).

Strangely, I think he's got on more make-up than Conchita does.



Sunday, May 10, 2015

Yes, yes...I know...


I've been silent for quite some time...but you haven't see the last of me.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Rebel Hearts Across The Land!

La Reine surprised us all by trumpeting her tour dates (via sockbitch!), when the expected announcement was supposed to coincide with the March 10th full release of Rebel Heart.

The pre-sale starts today (Tuesday March 3)!  Between a doctor's appointment and a full day of work, I'm not really sure how or when I'm going to tap into the goodness!

Think good thoughts, Lispers!

Here are the current announced dates (I'm sure there will be more shows added, just like last year!)

Ask, Believe, Receive!!

The proposed stage set-up!  A cross runway with a heart!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

True Bruise ~or~ Love's Gonna Lift Her Up!

Okay, monsters...every Bitch Diva slips up.  Gaga must've done it about 10 times in her short career.  Bey fell down a flight of stairs, not to mention gettin' her weave tangled in that damn wind machine.  P!nk fell from the rafters.  Britney, Christina and I'm sure Mariah, have all suffered a misstep.

But y'all are acting like it's the First.  Time.  Ever. 

...and so what if it was...the Queen Bitch got up off her damn ass, and fucking CARRIED ON, even though she had the wind knocked out of her.  "There was a backing tape"...Boo-fucking-hoo!  It was SO low, you almost couldn't hear it...she's still fucking SINGING over it!  By the end, she was fully redeemed and SMILING! 

Love's Gonna Lift Her Up!

I Should Be Laughing added a spin on The Queen's Fall that I found myself having a giggle over.  I mean, I'm officially pissed, but still...LOL!

Madonna took a tumble the other night at the Brit Awards after a dancer tried to remove a cape she was wearing. She recovered — and the track  kept playing — and carried on like a trouper, though I wondered if she should re-title some of her songs …

Like A Prayer [That I Don’t Break a Hip]
MedicAlert™ Girl
Take A Fall
True Bruise
La Isla Boniva™
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina 

Okay, that one stays the same.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Even though I posted an evacuation route, and I'm currently saving posts that will be reproduced at said evacuation site, I'm inspired by this...do we just lay down because someone said, "lay down?" 

We still have a month to fight....

~posted by The Slab~

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—

and there was no one left to speak for me.

~ Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

Blog Evacuation Route

By now, you've surely read that your favourite Blogger blogs are being forced to change platforms because the powers that be have decided that sexually explicit content (that isn't artistic or educational) will be forced to go private.

The Lisp has planned for this day for long time.

Bookmark before it's too late (March 23rd).


Friday, February 13, 2015

Peace Out

(May 28, 1959 – February 12, 2015)
"I chose to become famous and I work very hard at promoting myself. 
For me, going out at night is work ”

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Bruta Jenner? Not 'Till He Tells Me So

Can I just take a tiny minute to remind...Bruce Jenner is an American Hero. In 1976, Bruce Jenner ruled the Olympics.

I don't care what's up with him...despite tabloid bullshit, until Bruce tells me that "he" is "she," I'm going to respect his space.  I believe in the "coming out" process, regardless what you're coming out as...

Do i think that he's going to announce his transition?  yes, i do, but that's just me.

I'm not concerned with what it means, how it's perceived or any such nonsense.  Bruce has been the butt of many a joke (many thanks to the Kardashian Krew), and if it turns out he's just "addicted" to plastic surgery, then the E! Network should just book him on Botched!

Jenner has my 100% support before and after his Diane Sawyer interview.


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